The Journey to Self Love
Self-love has been a topic of discussion for years in the wellness community, but just recently it has come back to the mainstream, leaving many people to wonder what the heck it is and how to have it. So, before we go any further let’s take a minute to define what exactly it is. In short, self-love is having a high regard for your own happiness and well-being. It is not settling for less than you deserve and not putting the needs of others over your own. I get asked to talk about my thoughts on this topic a lot because I am so active in the mental health advocacy space. Do I think this is essential for mental health? Yes. Do I agree with how many people say we should get there? No, I honestly don’t because I think we miss a few steps in between. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is an important concept and yes, we all should be doing it, but it is NOT easy. In many ways society is very contradictory towards self-love, because a lot of how we as women young and old see ourselves is based largely on how media tells us we should.
Think about it…magazines tell us we need to look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, eat certain things, do a skin care routine like the celebs, and the list goes on. Doing all of the things the magazines suggest are supposed to make us happier and love ourselves more right? Wrong! Actually, the complete opposite is true. Loving yourself isn’t something you can learn from a magazine, an influencer/guru, or a social media post with a cool caption. It’s deeper than that and it requires more work on our parts than that.
Full disclosure, this blog is pretty tough for me to write because just like many of you self-love doesn’t come naturally. I’ve struggled with it my entire life and I still do. I am an expert at comparison and beating myself up. So, this won’t be the blog where I give you tips on how to love yourself more…TRUST ME there are plenty of places to get that info. What I can promise you though is that after you read this you’ll feel less alone, more supported, and realize that you have ALL the power.
You are probably asking yourself what is crazy Achea (aka Big sis/Auntie Keys) talking about? Let me explain… you have the ability to love yourself all on your own. Even if it’s hidden deep inside of you, it’s still there. I’ve helped women and girls all over the world, not to mention I’ve had the privilege of helping myself and what I’ve learned is that no one can teach me how to love me because no one knows me like I know myself. Of course, there are great tips and guides, but all of those are just starting points to get you on the journey to self-love.
Yep, that’s right it’s a journey. It’s not a flip of a switch to start loving yourself. It’s in the daily grind of consistently making better choices that work for YOU and only you. This is not a one size fits all kind of a thing. All of us are so uniquely designed that what works for you may not work for me and vice versa.
I know I said I wouldn’t give you any tips, but I can’t help myself…Lol! I do have just one: before you try at self-love, you first have to hop on the self-discovery train. In order to know how to love yourself, you need to know who you are, what you like/dislike, the type of person you want to be and who you want to surround yourself with. That takes time and intention, but when you make the effort and investment into yourself it will be worth it because every relationship you have in your life will be crafted by the one you have with yourself.