The Parent’s Game Plan: Managing Your Kids’ Anxiety Before The First Day of School

Both parents and children often know the feelings of back-to-school jitters. However, if you’re anything like me, you’d prefer to avoid them. Unfortunately, while I think they’re an inescapable part of life, I do believe we can absolutely make them a little better, and that’s the purpose of this blog. Hopefully, after reading this post, you will have a few more tools in your parental arsenal for managing your expectations. Here are a few things I use on a regular basis to help my kids and I deal with nerves before the first day of school: 

Get a Game Plan. 

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it will require some reflection and mid-summer interruption. 

Shopping. 

School shopping is enough to cause anyone angst, but the key is to attack the supply/clothing/uniform list before you actually need to start shopping. Planning your shopping list in advance will help ensure that you have everything you need. Don’t worry if your local store doesn’t have everything on your list. Yes, supply chain issues are a REAL thing, but this is where Amazon comes in very handy. Use it! This can be very helpful when you have a child who has a “theme” for their supplies or when there’s a last-minute change.

Scheduling. 

Around the beginning of August, I sit down and start to jot down ideas to make the upcoming school year better based on previous years of what has and hasn’t worked. Now, you can be as detailed as you’d like to be. On my list I address issues such as alternate routes to avoid traffic, transportation to and from after-school activities, and I make sure I’m ready for the easy options, particularly for breakfast and dinner. However, if your kids like to pack lunch you should consider that as well. The last thing I’ll say here is to make sure you think of ways to take things off your plate. We want to avoid as much stress as possible. So even plan for some downtime each evening for you and your family. 

Have the Conversation. 

You may be saying here “what does this mean?” Here’s the thing…It’s safe to assume that your kids are feeling somewhat nervous, excited, or a combo of both. If you bring up the conversation with them and give them a chance to voice their concerns, they’ll be less likely to express their feelings in other, more negative ways. I have a tween and teen who tend to show their feelings through their attitudes and dispositions, while I’ve noticed younger children are more likely to throw temper tantrums and be less agreeable when they are upset and frustrated... 

Listen more, Talk Less, and when you do talk ask questions. 

This one is difficult. I KNOW, TRUST ME! However, our kids are not projects, they are humans, and the last thing they want is to be “fixed.” Let them voice their concerns freely and chances are they will be more likely to open up to you more in the future. Need help with this one? Go back in time and relate to your children the way you would have wanted when you were their ages... Curiosity in this case is a gift, so embrace it gracefully and lean into it fully. Even if you know exactly what your child means when they make a statement, act like you don’t and ask them what they mean when they say “x” or “y”. 

Check Your Energy. 

I am a huge advocate of parents being age-appropriately honest with their children and as emotionally vulnerable as possible. That said, even in that “realness” we have to be aware of what we are giving off and whether our emotional vulnerability will be helpful. This is something I have struggled with in the past. Because I am naturally more of an anxious person, that has often crept into 

my parenting and clouded my judgment. It’s worth noting that this was earlier in my journey, when I first started therapy. I have since learned that what we reflect upon we often project into the environment. Kids are extremely intuitive, especially in the direction of what their mothers are feeling. I can’t explain why, but the connection that comes from the time spent together allows for that. 

Approach going back to school as being able to have a fresh start, while validating your kid’s apprehension. I know being a parent can be a balancing act, but in the end, you will have raised well-adjusted and informed humans. Here’s to a great start to the school year. 

YOU’VE GOT THIS!